• CONDOLENCE PRACTICES OF THE WORLD'S TOP 25 RELIGIONS

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The World’s Top 25 Religions

WE HAVE CONDUCTED THE RESEARCH AND BROUGHT YOU A RELIGION OVERVIEW AND THE CONDOLENCE PRACTICES OF THE WORLD'S TOP 25 RELIGIONS. OVERWHELMINGLY WRITTEN BY PRACTICING FOLLOWERS OF THE FAITH.

We are thankful to all of the religious subject matter experts who provided detailed insight into their religious and condolence practices. Without them, we would not have been able to provide first-hand knowledge to guide our readers to action.

Agnostic
Christianity
Messianity
Sikhism
Atheism
Confucianism
Rastafarian
Spiritism
Bahá Faith
Hindu
Scientology
Taoism
Buddhism
Islamic
Seicho
Tenrikyo
Cai Dai
Jainism
Shamanism
Unitarian Universalism
Cheondoism
Judaism
Shinto
Wiccan

Agnostic Condolence Practices

Overview In the current age, belief in divinity is diverse, ranging from absolute belief in one God or many gods to absolute belief in no God or gods at all. Furthermore, today many people grow up in a multicultural environment where numerous world religions exist side by side within a single community. It is somewhere on this religious path, spurred by the insatiable human hunger for scientific knowledge of the divine, that agnosticism was born. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED: If you have questions about the deceased’s religious beliefs, ask a family member or close friend who shares those beliefs. Most people will enthusiastically share their beliefs with others. Questions, questions, questions! Because questioning and doubt are an agnostic’s stock in trade, we might characterize the agnostic as “the uncertain” or “the skeptic.” Agnostics adhere to no particular religion and are particularly skeptical of any implication of the existence of a higher power, or “God.” However, an agnostic does not automatically rule out the existence of a higher being merely because there is no hard evidence to prove it. DON’T confuse agnostics and atheists! You may be wondering what the differences are between an agnostic and an atheist. An atheist believes that the only superior being is her own kind, the human race. There are certainly no gods or unseen forces in an atheist’s world. An agnostic, on the other hand, may sit adroitly in the middle of the seesaw, balancing belief in a higher power at one end with total disbelief at the other. Because sufficient scientific evidence does not exist to prove one or other, the agnostic is comfortable in espousing neither. At some time in his spiritual journey, an agnostic may wrestle with and indeed feel trapped by the need to make a decision to believe or not believe in a higher power. Indeed, unlike many religions, agnosticism freely acknowledges that humans do not and cannot know everything. Given the dearth of hard evidence to the contrary (and particularly the difficulty of proving a negative), an agnostic might choose to think it was virtually impossible for life not to exist elsewhere in the universe. Or he might conclude that “God” and the universe are one and the same. One is in for a looping ride in attempting to debate the depth of an agnostic’s skepticism regarding deities in general and “God” in particular. A simplistic example of an agnostic’s thoughts versus thoughts of believers of various other religions might be: Sikh: “Brahman controls time and space beyond the universe.” Agnostic: “Prove it.” Christian: “God is in everything, in every place, in everyone. He loves you.” Agnostic: “Prove it.” Atheist: “God doesn’t exist.” Agnostic: “Prove it.” Scientologist: “We are life-forms from another planet, reincarnated to Earth.” Agnostic: “Prove it.” Agnostics and Atheism; Charlene Tay, 2013 However, even in the face of an agnostic’s firm beliefs or lack thereof, ultimately thet great unifier Death makes his appearance. No amount of belief or nonbelief can keep him from the door. Regardless of one’s religious beliefs, death is a universally heartbreaking event. DO remember the man or woman, not the death. Death from an agnostic’s viewpoint Uncertainty about the existence of God, whether there is life after death and, if so, what that life might resemble, present a complete mystery—the ultimate unanswerable question—to the agnostic. Death is a part of life, and the agnostic, like many others, knows that facing it one day is inevitable. In fact, people with a firm belief in a deity or an afterlife might have as much difficulty as or even more difficulty than an agnostic in dealing with the death of someone close. Since nothing is firm in the agnostic’s beliefs, he probably would not have clear beliefs regarding death either. The agnostic may ponder what comes after death but never comes to a conclusion, mainly because any firm conclusion would be based on sheer speculation. The agnostic may picture death as any number of random outcomes drawn from various religions. Given this scenario, death could be anything: winged angels showing the way, a chamber of 72 virgins, a long slumber, even nothingness. The possibilities are unlimited and unknown to an agnostic. Things to do and say Approach the family of the deceased and give your sincere condolences. Give bereavement donations to the family to defray funeral expenses. Offer brief consolation about the loved one’s departure, such as “I am sorry for your loss,“ or “You have my condolences.” Follow by positively and briefly describing an aspect of the departed’s personality or something memorable he did or said: “He was the kindest man“; “She was the life of every party“; or “We always made fun of each other during lunch.” Be comfortable at the funeral, taking care to respect each and every faith present. Things NOT to do and say Do not mention “God” or any other supreme being in your consolation. Even if you belong to another religion, do not use your usual condolences or sayings such as, “God will watch over him,” or “I know he’s in a better place.” However, do note that while the deceased might be a follower of agnosticism, the family may well be religious; thus it is better to tread with extreme caution. Being agnostic is a personal choice; so if you do not know the family’s religion, exercise neutrality regarding your words of consolation. As with all other bereavements, the family of the deceased will likely appreciate your mere presence at the funeral whether words are exchanged or not.

Atheism Condolence Practices

Overview Funerals for atheists are becoming commonplace, perhaps because the number of people not affiliated with any religion is increasing. In fact, many people vehemently reject any religious view of life, or at least they do not hold the typical views of life and death. During an atheist service, refrain from referring to any kind of afterlife. Instead, understand that the service essentially will be a tribute to the life of the deceased. At such services, it is common for family members and friends to share fond memories of the deceased. In other religious settings, comments such as “He is watching us from heaven now” or “He has joined the ancestors” may be appropriate expressions of sympathy, whereas during atheist services, one should avoid such statements. Make sure you focus on affection toward the deceased. Talk about her interests or how she influenced your own life. DON’T mention “God” or any kind of “afterlife,” which can be highly offensive to an atheist. Atheist burial or cremation Atheists practice both cremation and burial. Although the deceased normally makes his wishes known while alive, the bereaved family ultimately decides whether there will be an open casket at the funeral. There is no specific time for the atheist funeral service, and any day is appropriate. Some families prefer to hold a memorial service before the burial, some prefer a simple graveside service, and still others decide on a memorial service after cremation or burial. Readings and songs The atheist funeral service includes neither religious hymns nor readings, although some services will include nonreligious songs or readings, such as the recitation of favorite poems. Songs may come from the classical music repertoire or from more modern music. It is also common for an atheist to have created his own funeral program before he died. The arrangement chosen is according to the desires and wants of that particular person. Atheist services are known to bring a sense of closeness to families of the deceased. This is a very important part of the grieving process. The funeral service provides a platform for the grieved families to express their pain and sorrow during bad times. In this time of loss, support the family with donations, meals or memorial flowers. DO show support for the family by offering meals, flowers or a donation to a charity chosen by the deceased or family members. Implicit atheism Implicit atheism is a complete absence of theistic beliefs and would include all forms of non-belief in deities. Adults who have never heard about deities or never given deities any real thought are counted under this subset of atheism. In some cases, children are counted under implicit atheism. Some sources say that “children are always born atheists.” This is because newborn babies may have no idea about any God. Explicit atheism The philosophical position of explicit atheism includes those for whom belief in God is irrational and therefore should always be rejected. This subset of atheism also goes by the name of “critical atheism.” People who engage in explicit atheism have critiqued systems of theistic belief and found them wanting. Things to avoid In general, atheists do not quote religious texts or sing hymns during the funeral ceremony. The British Humanist Association states in their guide that during a funeral service for an atheist, one should never talk about an “afterlife.” Instead, talk about the life of the deceased. Be sincere, and express warmth to the family. Do not bring up religious differences. You do not have to believe the same things. Sometimes atheists may be offended at a funeral by disregard of their beliefs. When you speak at such events, weigh your words very carefully. TIP: Sharing a story about the deceased can cheer the family. Following are good examples of condolence offerings for an atheist funeral service: "Your uncle Bob once stopped to help me change a tire. He saw I was shivering and let me borrow his coat too. That's just the kind of guy he was." "Every time your dad called, your face lit up." "She made the world a better place with all she did.”

Bahá’í Faith Condolence Practices

TIP: Pronounced Ba-HIGH (emphasis on second syllable). Overview The Bahá'í Faith is a monotheistic religion emphasizing the spiritual unity of all humankind. Three core principles establish a basis for Bahá'í teachings and doctrine: unity of God - that there is only one God who is the source of all creation; unity of religion - that all major religions have the same spiritual source and come from the same God; and unity of humanity - that all humans have been created equal and that diversity of race and culture are worthy of appreciation and acceptance. According to Bahá'í teachings, the human purpose is to learn to know and love God through such methods as prayer, reflection and service to humanity. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED: Researching the Bahá’í Faith. According to the Bahá'í Faith, God has revealed Himself to humankind through a series of extraordinary messengers (including, among others, Abraham, Krishna, Zoroaster, Moses, Buddha, Jesus and Muhammad), whose teachings aid and instruct, furnishing the underpinnings for human social order. Their religions hail from the same source and are basically successive sections of one religion from God. Bahá'u'lláh, the most recent of these messengers, carried new otherworldly and social teachings for our time. His crucial message is unity of God, of the human family, and of religion. Bahá'u'lláh said, "The earth is yet one nation and humankind its natives," and believed that, as anticipated in consecrated scriptures from the past, today presents the ideal opportunity for mankind to live in unity. Established more than one hundred fifty years ago, the Bahá'í Faith has spread around the globe. Practitioners of the Bahá'í Faith live in more than 100,000 communities and originate from almost every country. WARNING: Bahá’ísm is not a term used by Bahá’í. Funeral services The Bahá’í funeral service is extremely simple, as it consists only of a congregational prayer to be read before burial. This prayer will be available to the friends of the Bahá'í Temple) when the Kitáb-i-Aqdas (the central book of the Bahá'í Faith) is translated and published. This simple prayer follows no particular form, and there are no rules for its formation or rendering, simplicity and flexibility being the watchwords. A selection from the Bahá’í Sacred Writing may serve same the purpose, and it is not necessary to adopt the same uniform passage from that Writing on each funeral occasion. There is no objection whatsoever to non-Bahá’í being present when the long prayer for the dead is read, as long as they respect the manner in which it is read by rising and standing as the Bahá’í do on this occasion. Nor is there any objection to non-Bahá’í being present during the reading of any Bahá’í prayer for the departed. An official Bahá’í funeral service should only take place for a believer, but there is no objection to the reading of Bahá’í prayers by non-Bahá’í, or, indeed, to a Bahá’í conducting the funeral service of a non-Bahá’í if this has been requested.

Buddhism Condolence Practices

TIP: Buddhism is one of the largest religions in the world. While Buddhism may still be a minority religion in the West, it’s nonetheless considered to be one of the world’s largest and oldest faiths, and as such, you’re likely to encounter Buddhist co-workers, acquaintances, and friends over the course of your life. In the event that someone close to a Buddhist dies, it might seem impossible to offer sincere words of condolence if you’re largely unaware of the doctrines of the faith. However, consoling a Buddhist in his grief doesn’t have to feel like a foreign experience. Use this short guide to help inform you about the basics of the Buddhist religion and what you can do to comfort a Buddhist in his time of need. Overview Buddhism is a philosophy thought to have begun with Siddhartha Gautama, an Indian prince, around 500 BCE. Gautama’s family and advisors went to great lengths to shelter the prince from the suffering of the outside world, but he eventually rejected his luxurious and ignorant existence after witnessing a sick man, a poor man and a dead man. After forsaking his royal upbringing, Gautama searched for enlightenment. He attempted to achieve this through severe asceticism (self-denial and poverty) but found that even this could not bring the enlightenment for which he searched. Finally, he vowed to meditate beneath a Bodhi tree until he was enlightened. Forty-nine days later he emerged from his meditation as the Buddha, a Sanskrit term that means “the enlightened one.” HAVE YOU CONSIDERED: Buddhists consider themselves one with everything. Gautama Buddha spent the rest of his life teaching others how to enlighten themselves, end their suffering and attain nirvana (literally translated as “blowing out,” as in blowing out a candle). To achieve this feat, the Buddha taught his followers what would become the central tenets of Buddhist faith—the Four Noble Truths: • The first noble truth is the acknowledgment of dukkha (Sanskrit for “suffering”). Suffering is inescapable in this life. • The second noble truth is the origin of dukkha. Attachment to the impermanent joys of the world is the cause of suffering. • The third noble truth is the nature of dukkha. Eliminate suffering by eliminating its cause. • The fourth noble truth is the cessation of dukkha. Humans can stop their suffering through the Eightfold Path (the Buddhist prescriptions for correct thought and behavior). These and many other Buddhist teachings have been preserved and passed down for thousands of years, and today there are currently over 300 million Buddhists worldwide that adhere to these teachings. The Buddhist concept of death To understand how best to console a Buddhist during a time of grief, learn more about the nature of Buddhism and how death plays a key role in its teachings. First, you should realize that while many people consider Buddhism to be a “religion,” it is not a religion in the typical Western sense of the word. Unlike in Christianity or Islam, there is no monotheistic deity in Buddhism. Some branches of Buddhism do promote a belief in gods, but this belief is by no means universal. The most important difference between Buddhism and other more traditional religions, however, is the lack of afterlife in Buddhism. You should therefore avoid saying things such as, “They’re in a better place,” or mentioning Heaven to grieving Buddhists. At best, these statements will cause confusion; at worst, they will offend. But the Buddhist lack of belief in an afterlife does not mean that Buddhism does not have much to say regarding death and what happens when we die. For example, many Buddhists spend time contemplating the inevitability of death. This is not to say Buddhists have a fascination with dying; they simply realize dying is a fact of life and the best way to blunt the trauma of it is to accept it. While Buddhists typically do not believe in the Westernized version of an afterlife, they definitely do not believe death marks an end. For Buddhists, all of existence is a never ending stream. Within that stream, waves form, eventually crashing and dissipating back into the waters. While those individual waves disappear, never to return, the waters that generated them continue to flow forward without end. To Buddhists, this represents the very concept of being alive. When we die, our lives may no longer continue in the same form, but that does not mean we have ceased to be part of the unending stream. Condolence practices The most important thing to remember when consoling a grieving Buddhist is that genuine compassion goes a long way. Regardless of what religion a person is, sometimes it’s best to just let the mourning party know you’re there to offer emotional support. If you don’t know much about Buddhism, you might worry about saying something inadvertently offensive; however, genuine sympathy can more than make up for la¬¬ck of specific knowledge regarding Buddhism. Nevertheless, there are several distinctly Buddhist ways to console a mourner. If a Buddhist’s deceased loved one had a particularly long or nasty fight with an illness before dying, one might speak to the end of that suffering. Since the cessation of suffering (or dukkha) is the primary goal of Buddhism, confirmation that their loved one is no longer in physical pain should offer comfort. Consider preparing a few words about the continuity of the stream of life. Mentioning that death cannot truly destroy the life within our departed loved ones can be comforting. Attending a Buddhist funeral Some types of Buddhism, especially the older forms such as Theravada Buddhism, often have quite elaborate funeral rites and ceremonies. These are too complicated and varied among different subgroups to list here, but plenty of information exists online regarding specific funeral practices. A rule of thumb, if you find yourself invited to a traditional Buddhist funeral, is to ask the host politely beforehand what you should expect and how you should act. WARNING: Do not assume that as a Buddhist, the deceased did or did not practice a particular traditional style of Buddhism; better to ask what style they practiced. However, most Buddhists you encounter in the West will practice either Zen Buddhism or some sort of eclectic style, both of which tend to reject the more ceremonial traditions of ancient Buddhism. Because of this, you will often find that their ceremonies are influenced somewhat by familiar Western funeral traditions.

Cheondoism Condolence Practices

Overview Cheondoism is a religion followed chiefly by South and North Korea peoples; it has only been in existence 200-500 years, making it fairly new in comparison to most other religions. Korean peasants started a rebellion in 1812 in protest against the practices of the Joseon dynasty, resulting in the consolidation of certain earlier practices which eventually became known as Cheondoism. The movement gathered strength from the belief that foreigners such as Japanese and Westerners were invading Korea with help from the ruling dynasty and ruining the country. A Korean named Choe Je-u started the religion with writings leading to a peasant uprising against the policies of the Korean dynastic rulers. Cheondoism takes its basis from the teachings of Confucius and has elements from Buddhism and Taoism also. In the modern era, the religion has also adopted Christian elements. Like the other religions from which it adapted many elements, the religion espouses one supreme being. Cheondoism concerns itself with how to improve one’s inner life (following the “Heavenly Way”) in order to reach Heaven, which is signified as a level of goodness and equality everyone should attempt to attain. The religion believes in an afterlife and extols everybody to create Heaven on earth by engaging in peaceful coexistence – the sort of moral uplifting taught by Confucius. The religion also stresses societal reform by changing many age-old Korean beliefs and traditions. Later on, the religion also accepted elements from Taoist and Buddhist religions which were prevalent in Korea at that time. South Korean followers of Cheondoism numbered more than 1 million by 2005, but reliable estimates of North Korean followers put that number at not more than 10,000. In South Korea, more than 280 churches exist where one may attend prayers and meetings. Cheondoism did not extend as extensively into North Korea, on the other hand, since the ruling party did not fully approve of its practices (even though a party known as “Cheondoist Chongu” enjoys representation in the North Korean government). Condolence practices Cheondoism followers believe in one supreme God who resides in each person and communicates with that person through the soul. In Cheondoism, the more one is able to purify one’s soul, the more earthly life becomes as good as heavenly life and the closer one comes to God. When death claims a member of the Cheondoism community, other followers of the faith gather in his home or in the church to offer prayers and words of condolence to the bereaved family. They offer prayers to God asking for the departed person’s soul to be allowed to enter the gates of Heaven on the grounds that the departed had been a great follower of the faith and had tried his best to create Heaven on earth. People who gather at such condolence meetings remain calm and quiet as this is a very solemn occasion when they are paying their last homage to the departed soul. People do not jostle for space but allow other people to go ahead and take their places without creating confusion.   Religious traditions Following are the most important tenets of historic Cheondoism: • Do not kill any peasant or take away his property. • Always stand up for the rights of the peasants. • Return the land to its purest form by driving out all foreign powers. • When necessary, change the government and its policies by marching to Seoul. These traditions were the foundations that resulted in the Korean peoples working to achieve a better life on earth, ultimately leading to the uprising of the Korean people against local and foreign rulers. Many Korean people accepted this particular faith since it addressed the aspirations of common folk. Things to avoid At the funeral, avoid loud or boisterous behavior. Stay calm and quiet, allowing others to bid goodbye to the departed through prayers. Condolence message example “Let us pray for the peace of the departed soul, and let us pray to God to allow him to enter the gates of Heaven. He was a very good person and a true follower of the faith while he was on this earth. May he attain the closeness to God which he had been seeking on this earth.”

Christian Condolence Practices

Overview Christianity, one of several in the largest group of Abrahamic religions, has the most followers of any world religion. Christians believe that Jesus Christ (“Christ” - Greek for “anointed” from the Hebrew, “Messiah”) is the son of God, at once divine and human (since Christians also believe that Christ was born of a virgin human mother). Furthermore, they believe that Christ died and after three days rose from the dead, then ascending into heaven to grant eternal life to those who believe in him. Some Christian denominations hold that belief in Christ is the sole requirement for a human being to attain eternal life when he dies. Others believe that in order to go to Heaven, one must also repent of all sins in addition to accepting Jesus as savior. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED: Although the various Christian denominations may seem similar, the practices of each denomination can vary quite a lot. Although most Christians unanimously adhere to one or the other of these choices, Christianity is in truth a big pie sliced into different denominations, each of which may operate according to the same basic values but practice differently from each other, depending on differing cultures and traditions. Thus, different Christian denominations (and even individual churches within a particular Christian denomination) are likely to employ diverse practices where funerals and condolence are concerned. TIP: Show your support with a gift of food. Typical condolence practices All humans realize death is inevitable; yet that knowledge cannot short circuit pain and grief when a loved one dies. Commonly, visitors will bring flowers as a statement of condolence to the family. Often, however, short and simple condolence messages are the best; not only are they likely to be remembered but they are least likely to offer opportunities to say the wrong thing. Many people simply buy a beautiful card and perhaps also offer food, flowers or a donation. Remember, however, that in the Christian tradition, death is an ending only to the departed’s earthly life. In many Christian churches, particularly those that practice a more literal version of Christianity, death is truly seen as a home-going; that is, the departed, if he had accepted Jesus as savior, had now gone on to Heaven, where pain and sorrow are no more. Furthermore, family and friends, if they believe the same, have the expectation that they will literally join their beloved departed in Heaven when they die. Religious traditions and appropriate things to do throughout the condolence period Some practices may not necessarily be wrong, but there are certain ways of comforting family or loved ones of the deceased while running the least risk of saying or doing something offensive. In every religion traditions arise that are meant to ensure comfort without offense to family members of the deceased. WARNING: If you have children, check the family’s preference and ensure that it is appropriate before bringing them to a funeral. A) The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (informally, the Mormon Church) Latter-Day Saints funerals are largely different from funerals in other denominations. Mormons typically see a funeral as a chance to teach the gospel rather than talk about the deceased person. Just as when attending a regular church service, guests should wear modest and moderate clothing. The service includes sacred music, prayer and a eulogy that reminds family and friends of Jesus Christ's atonement and subsequent resurrection. Close family and friends attend a brief graveside service following the funeral. The family usually hosts a gathering with abundant food after the service so that all attendees can mingle and offer their condolences. Cards and flowers are encouraged. B) Pentecostals The Pentecostal funeral ceremony includes singing, scripture readings and prayer. A minister will offer a sermon and a eulogy for the deceased. Food may be offered to the family to help them during the time of sorrow. In terms of clothing, due to multiracial and multicultural movements, Pentecostal churches now vary on the clothes they accept even for funerals. Some accept very casual clothing, while others request more formal attire. Apostolic Pentecostal is a subset of the Pentecostal movement which tends to be stricter in what they consider appropriate attire. To blend in appropriately at an Apostolic Pentecostal funeral, men should wear dark suits and women should wear dark, floor-length dresses or skirts. Both men and women should wear long sleeves and refrain from wearing jewelry other than wedding bands and wrist watches. Women belonging to the religion generally do not wear makeup of any kind. C) Various Protestant denominations Protestant denominations run the gamut in diversity and embrace a wide variety of customs. In addition, often specific requests of the departed before death or of the grieving family will set out what is appropriate for that particular funeral. (Commonly the family hosts a visitation period which provides for a gathering of friends and words of sympathy, but guests need not stay for the viewing of the deceased, if there is one. ) Protestant churches vary widely as to how the deceased body is prepared. Many families still chose embalming and an open casket for viewing, while others opt for a closed casket. Still others, acting on their own or at the earlier behest of the deceased, may choose to cremate the body. Some churches and families chose no actual “funeral” but instead have a “celebration of life” for the deceased, sometimes weeks after the death. For close friends or kin, the minister may be asked to prepare a eulogy to show appreciation of the life of the deceased. Flowers, cards or charitable gifts may be sent to the funeral home or to the church where the funeral will take place. Someone at the family’s home may also receive gifts of food during or after the funeral. Unlike at Catholic funerals, it is no longer necessary for everyone to wear black clothing at a Protestant funeral (although black is always appropriate). The main requirement would be for respectful, modest clothing, including no bright colors, short skirts, shorts or blue jeans. D) The Roman Catholic Church The three main parts of a traditional Catholic funeral are the vigil, the requiem mass and burial. When visiting during the vigil, it is important to sign the guest book, as this is one way of making the family aware of the people who care for them and love them. This will also make it easier for them to gather the names of the people to send thank you cards to after the burial. Flowers are expressions of love, sympathy and respect; therefore, they make good gifts for funerals. Generally, Catholics have the requiem mass before the burial. Therefore, if you are a member of a different religion, you should decide if you are comfortable being in a Catholic church and hearing (and perhaps participating) in the mass. If you do attend, you will need to stay for the entire mass, which may be longer than services you have previously attended. You should be respectful and pay attention throughout the entire service, participating as you feel comfortable (except see warning about non-Catholics participating in Catholic communion, below). Some portions, or even most, of the mass service may be familiar to you, depending on whether you are a member of a religious faith that shares certain attributes of the mass service. For instance, Episcopals typically feel fairly comfortable in Catholic services, although all elements are not the same. WARNING: Unless you are a Catholic, do not participate in communion at a Catholic service, that is, in the ritual partaking of a small portion of bread and wine, usually at the altar rail. Catholics believe that the consecration of these two elements (which for most Protestants symbolize the body and blood of Christ on the cross) turns the bread and wine literally into the body and blood of Christ (a doctrine known as “transubstantiation.” Anyone who does not believe this doctrine to be true would, according to Catholic precepts, be committing a sin to partake of the elements; therefore, the Catholic Church prohibits nonbelievers of this doctrine from partaking of the bread and wine. If you are a nonbeliever of this particular doctrine, you should simply stay at your seat during communion. As for clothing, business-formal clothes of a solemn color (usually black or white) are preferred. E) The Church of Christ, Scientist For Christian Scientists, funerals are optional. If the family prefers a funeral service, guests are encouraged to wear business-formal clothing of muted color. Services commonly take place in private homes or in a funeral home. Since Christian Scientists do not have clergy, a Christian Scientist teacher, practitioner, reader or friend conducts the ceremony. The ceremony does not include personal remarks or a eulogy; however, it does include readings from one of Mary Baker Eddy’s books or from the King James Bible. Christian Scientist funerals are not usually open casket. Food may be served after the service, except for alcohol, which Christian Scientists consider totally inappropriate. DON’T speak of the deceased as being in Heaven. Even if family members and friends believe in eternal life, if they are Christian Scientists they will not believe the departed goes to Heaven immediately after death. In addition, is considered inappropriate to offer charitable donations in the name of the deceased. F) The Seventh-day Adventist Church When you hear of the death of a Seventh-day Adventist friend, by all means call the family and offer condolences before the funeral. Friends may attend the funeral if there is one. After the funeral, relatives and friends should visit to express their sympathy. The traditional gifts of flowers and food are acceptable. Conservative clothing for a Seventh-day Adventist funeral is a must. Women should wear clothing that covers the arms and knees, and all guests should wear dark clothing and no jewelry.

Church of World Messianity Condolence Practices

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED: Often church members of the deceased are considered like family. Overview The religion of Messianity began with a Japanese gentleman named Mokichi Okada who spread a new line of thought starting in 1935. He was physically very frail and suffered from various diseases, including tuberculosis and pleurisy, from which he almost died. During one bout of illness he experienced a revelation that if he allowed the “divine ray of light from God” or “Jorkei” to enter and cleanse his soul, he would automatically be rid of all diseases. He allowed his inner feelings to be lifted by cheerful thoughts which purified his soul, and he found himself recovering from all his illnesses. He started to spread what he had learned to people around him who felt sick all the time, and his teachings brought about a huge change in their lives. The basic teaching of this religion is to create the goodness of Heaven on earth by purifying the soul. You can only do this if you allow the divine ray of enlightenment to enter your soul, purifying it and returning it to good health. Once you are in a state of good health you will automatically have a good and healthy life and be above all worldly worries and problems. In this way you will attain a position on earth which equates to a place in Heaven. Slowly the number of followers of this faith grew from about three hundred to millions, spreading from Japan to other countries. Followers of the Messianity religion believe that material prosperity can help to overcome poverty, sickness and strife; however, to achieve the goodness of Heaven, you need religious prosperity also. Certain beliefs can help a person achieve religious prosperity. The foremost belief is that whatever has happened and is happening in this universe is the will of God. The past is called the “Night” while the present is the “Transition” and the future is “Heaven on Earth.” Man is the master of all that is happening and must purify his soul to create Heaven on earth. Every person has two sides to his nature and can show the good side of his soul one moment and the evil side the next. He must purify the bad portion of his soul so that only the goodness remains. He can attain this state by removing all doubts and evil thoughts from his soul. TIP: Condolence practices may vary by country and region. Typical condolence practices The followers of this religion believe in rebirth and the Other World. So when anybody in the community dies, the whole community gathers in his house or in the place of worship to pay homage and respect to the departed soul and to comfort the bereaved family in its hour of sorrow. The community prays to God to allow the departed soul to enter the Other World since the person purified his soul on this earth with the help of God’s divine light.   Funeral traditions outside of Japan Outside of Japan, Brazil has the most Japanese residents and their descendants, who brought the Messianic religion with them. Now there are more than one million followers of this faith in Brazil who are neither Japanese nor their descendants. The people in Brazil erected the Church of Messianity in São Paulo, which was designed to be a combination of natural and man-made beauty. São Paulo was designed as a prototype of “Heaven on Earth.” Thousands of followers from Brazil and the rest of the world put their effort and money into building this church so that people could meditate in harmony with nature. People who meditate in these surroundings often find themselves in tune with nature and able to achieve spiritual enlightenment. WARNING: Avoid wearing bright or flashy colors to a funeral. Things to avoid To be a part of the community during a funeral you should remain humble and refrain from any action which makes you look aggressive and impetuous. You should avoid wearing anything which is flashy and too colorful in contrast to the solemn atmosphere present at the gathering for paying respect to the departed soul. You should avoid alcoholic beverages. You should not bring animals.   Condolence message example A prayer which can be used in a condolence meeting is given below. “Dear God who looks over the followers of the Church of Messianity, please help his soul to enter the Other World as he has been faithful in creating Heaven on Earth with the help of your divine light.”

Confucianism Condolence Practices

Overview Confucianism is neither a religion or nor practiced like a religion since it developed as a tool for ethical and political guidance. Confucianism is a set of teachings which spread throughout Asia. A general way of extending help and support to someone who has lost a loved one who follows the Confucian way of living is to attend the funeral in accordance with the proper rituals. Confucianism primarily focuses on the development of filial piety, respect for elders, social obligations and rules of courtesy. Respect for elders and all family members is of utmost importance. Confucianism does not call for strict rules on how to express condolence since it is not a religion per se. Nevertheless, the necessary rituals and practices that have been passed on through the generations should be properly observed. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED: Confucianism has religious characteristics although it is not actually classified as a religion. Typical condolence practices Confucianism holds that one should look to the past to discern the proper behavior to exhibit in the present. In other words, for guidance, look to one’s ancestors. Confucianism espouses following the “Way of Heaven,” wherein all earthly events occur because of the “decree of Heaven.” Since Confucius’ teaching primarily focuses on the actions of living people, less emphasis is placed on the meaning of death. However, one must be able to express the right sentiments at the appropriate time. Confucius’ teachings on mourning and death rituals state that: -The filial son is the one who must ensure that participants present during the rituals are trained and know what they should do. -Depending upon practices of the particular family, those who would like to express their condolences may either do so after the burial proper (according to the manner of the Yin Dynasty) or after the funeral procession has returned (according to the manner of the Zhou dynasty). When a follower of Confucianism dies, his family and friends should continue to exhibit the values he upheld when he was living. Confucius advised his followers to remember the particular strengths the deceased exhibited as a living person. Furthermore, since every living person eventually dies, each should strive to excel in doing kindness toward others so that that trait will be the main one by which he is remembered. WARNING: Do not behave in too sorrowful a manner at a Confucian funeral. Things to avoid Provide appropriate, but not overdone, comfort to the family, especially to the filial son who is entrusted to carry out the rituals. Confucianism has no strict guidelines as to what should be done upon a person’s death, but here are some things to avoid: -Focusing on the death rather than the life of the deceased. -Being too sad and remaining sad for a long period. -Not supporting the family and other social relationships of the dead person. -Not paying proper respect to the family’s elders. Condolence message examples Here are some messages taken from Confucian teachings on death: “Heaven means to be one with God.” “We should feel sorrow, but not sink under its oppression.” “Death and life have their determined appointments; riches and honors depend upon heaven.” You might consider offering one of these sayings to relatives of the departed.

Hinduism Condolence Practices

TIP: Hinduism originated in India. Overview Hinduism, a religion comprised of many sects and subsects such as Shaivanism, Vainavism, and Shraruta, is practiced in India and Nepal. Its basic philosophy is the law of “karma and dharma.” These two principles subject Hindus to a variety of societal norms (more intellectual and philosophical values than rigid guidelines). Hinduism evolved over centuries and has no founder. It does, however, have rituals and rites for virtually every occasion, the roots of which are found in the Dravidian culture of Iron Age India. It is said to be the oldest religion in the world. Hindu texts have two major divisions, Shruti and Smirti, which address theology and philosophy. Other Hindu texts are the Baghavad Gita, Ramayana, Mahabharata, Upanishads, Vedas, Manusmiriti and Agamas. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED: Flowers are the most appropriate gift for a Hindu funeral. Funeral rites Hindu funeral rites involve a series of steps which purport to make death a ceremony. Family members perform funeral rites, elaborately preparing the body for final disposal. The body of the deceased is cremated. Children may be present and are not shielded in any way. All death rites, which pacify the soul, take place within a year’s time. Hindus believe that the many kinds of beings who live on earth are graded according to their properties. They may live above the earth or below; some are harmful, some not. Hinduism teaches that upon death, the deceased become Pitrs, or celestial beings. Relatives of the dead perform certain rites to mingle the deceased’s ashes with the waters of the Ganges, which acts benefit the spirit of the dead. Hindu funeral rites Hinduism is marked by certain Samskaras that one has to perform throughout life. The last Samskara is Antyesti, the funeral ceremony. This ¬ceremony is important because it enables the deceased to enter the Pitr loku, which enables the dead to achieve final emancipation. Since the Vedic era cremation has been the final act (although, historically, burial was also practiced periodically). Today Hindus follow the burial ceremonies of thee Puranic period, during which cremation was legitimized. First, an attempt is made to revive the dead. When this fails, the priest pronounces death and sings sacred hymns. Mourners appear with disordered cloths and disheveled hair, and they sing to mourn the dead. The body is washed, hair and nails are cut and the body is adorned in new garments and ornaments. The body is then carried on the shoulders of the relatives and laid on a pyre. The chief mourner places ghee (clarified butter) on the body and circles the body three times with an earthen pot. Finally the earthen pot is broken, symbolizing the release of the soul. Cow dung is placed on the chest of the dead, and the head mourner then lights the fire. After that the relatives bathe. Three days after the cremation the mourners return to the burial site, and the deceased’s bone ashes are poured into the Ganges. WARNING: Gifts of money are not encouraged at most Hindu funerals. Remembering those who have passed on There are many ways to remember the dead, with most rituals observed on the third, fifth, seventh or ninth day after death. On the 31st day, a memorial ceremony is conducted by the priest, in which all relatives participate. Rituals are repeated for one year, to underscore the belief that we are not alone in the universe, that our ancestors are looking after us, and that the elaborate year of commemorative ritual assists the dead in uniting with our ancestors.

Islamic Condolence Practices

TIP: There are two primary sects within Islam, Shi’a and Sunni. Overview An “offering condolence” means sharing in grief and helping to lighten feelings of sadness and misfortune. Islam is a religion of sympathy and kindness. Offering condolences is kin to a duty for a Muslim. Offers of sympathy to the family and the relatives of the deceased strengthens relationships within the Muslim community. Although Islam encourages Muslims to console one another in times of grief, the manner of expressing condolence for Muslims varies from place to place and community to community. Fundamentally, however, Islam has some specific rules and regulations for expressing condolence to the family and relatives of the deceased. Typical condolence practices In the Muslim world condolence practices are mainly restricted to offering condolence to the family and the relatives of the deceased¬¬¬. According to the Islamic view, death is a transition from one world to another, as birth is. Man will be awarded by being placed in Jannat (heaven) or Jahannam (hell) on the basis of his activities on earth. Earth is the exam field for Muslims, and a man or woman who passes this exam (that is, who lives his or her life according to the rules and regulations of Islam) will transition to Jannat after death. According to Islamic rules, those who are near a dying person should be calm and kind: offer the dying person hope, do not allow him to collapse from pain or panic and never leave him alone. When a Muslim is near death, those around her are called upon to give comfort and reminders of God’s mercy and forgiveness. They may recite verses from the Holy Qur’an and encourage the dying one to recite words of remembrance and pray to Allah for mercy. Upon death, Islam encourages those attending the deceased to pray for the departed and start preparations for burial as quickly as possible. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED: Mourning periods may last 40 days, depending on the wishes of the family. Therefore, providing the family with a meal during this time is encouraged, especially during the 3 days immediately after the burial. Islam recommends that friends remind the family of the good deeds of the deceased and pray to Allah for mercy. Muslims believe that everything belongs to Allah. So, to express condolence to a Muslim, it is beneficial to help him be hopeful of Allah’s mercy toward the beloved one that he lost. It is a precept of Sunnah (the proven practices of the Prophet Muhammad) that neighbors, relatives and friends prepare food for the family of the deceased since the death of the loved one occupies the family’s whole attention. Another important duty for Muslims is to attend the funeral prayer, called Salaat-l-Janazah. This is a congregational prayer during which the attendees ask Allah for forgiveness and mercy for the deceased. After offering condolences, family and friends should endeavor to leave the area in good order to give the family time to take care of their other affairs. Islam greatly encourages Muslims to console one another in times of grief to reduce the pain of sorrow Things to avoid while offering condolence would be placing food, flowers, water or money around the grave, reading the Qu’ran in the cemetery, remaining in a state of sadness for a long time, uttering phrases that could cause a Muslim to deviate from faith, and loudly bewailing the dead. The Prophet Muhammad said that “[h]e is not of us who beats his face, tears his clothes and bewails loudly when misfortune happens to him as was done during the days of ignorance.” (Bukhari & Muslim). When the Prophet Muhammad’s own son died, he said: “The eyes shed tears and the heart is grieved, but we will not say anything except which pleases Allah.” Islam disapproves of the family’s preparing food for the people coming to pay their condolences, as it adds to their troubles and further encumbers their lives. WARNING: Gifts to the family after the death of a loved one are not appropriate.   Muslim condolence examples The following words for condolences are proven in the al-Hadith: “May Allah enhance your recompense and be generous in your calamity and forgive the deceased and induce you with patience and multiply for us and for you recompense through patience.” The condolence message can mention the sayings of the Prophet Muhammad: “It is Allah that takes and it is He that gives, and He prescribes a certain destiny for every matter.” “May Allah in His mercy grant him rest, may his grave be a part of Jannatul Firdaus [the most beautiful paradise] and an abode of light. May Allah make him pass successfully in all the stages of the life after death. Amin.”

Jainism Condolence Practices

Overview The Indian religion of Jainism is based on five basic concepts: • Non-violence or Ahimsa • Truth or Satya • Non-Stealing or Asteya • Celibacy or Brahmacharya • Non-Possessiveness or Aparigraha Non-violence against any form of life is the most important of all these vows which a Jain monk follows strictly. Abhorring violence against all forms of life, the monks wear masks over their mouths to prevent inhaling any insect or other living matter, sweep the floor before they step on it to prevent stepping on any living insect and eat only fruits, nuts and drink milk. Otherwise they drink boiled water only, which does not contain any living matter. They practice celibacy by never touching anyone of the opposite sex and expect to live one life only without any rebirth. They speak nothing but the truth and practice non-stealing by not taking anything which is not offered to them. They practice non-possessiveness by using their cupped hands like bowls to have food. They walk without shoes. A number of monks from the Digambar sect do not wear any clothes while those from the Svetambar sect wear only a piece of white cloth over their bodies. Both monks and nuns follow vows. The monks can be from either the Digambar or Svetambar sect while the nuns can join the Svetambar sect only. Those who do not want to live a monastic life must follow a simplified form of the five vows. Typical condolence practices The death of a loved one is very painful to those who are left behind in this world. This is the time when a huge amount of support is required by the grieving members of the family. Compassion practiced by the followers of Jainism can be particularly effective at this moment of grief. Members of the whole community typically show sympathy to the grieving family. TIP: Followers of Jainism particularly appreciate the support of the community when mourning the loss of a family member. Mourners gather at the deceased person’s abode and comfort the grieving members. The community gathers together to provide a caring and supportive environment to the grieving members of the family so that they can share thoughts and feelings about the person who has passed away. This is the time when the community takes up the duty of organizing all the things that need to be done, such as funeral arrangements. This relieves the burden of worry being carried by the family members in their hour of grief and provides support through the whole funeral procedure. Religious traditions: The Digambar sect of Jain monks believes that the last Jain Tirthankara or prophet called Mahavira asked permission from his parents never to marry. They believe that Mahavira could free himself from all worldly requirements like sleep, thirst and hunger by attaining a state of enlightenment. The monks of this sect, like all other Jain sects practice celibacy strictly like their Tirthankar and believe that there can be no reproduction or rebirth. They always try to live this life on earth as their last. The monks of the Digambar sect do not wear any clothes, in the Jain tradition of renouncing all material wealth in life, They walk barefoot. They carry a broom made of feathers which have fallen from a peacock. They use this broom to clean the space they walk on so that they do not cause any loss of life to insects or microorganisms by stepping on them. They do not venture out after dark as they might step on some insect and kill it WARNING: Don’t send flowers to a monk of the Digambar sect. They do not believe in taking the life of a flower to show sympathy. They carry water gourds which are their only water source. The water in the water gourd has been boiled and then cooled to ensure that there are no insects or microorganisms in the water they drink. Like other Jain monks they are strictly vegetarian and sometimes prefer to have fruits and nuts only as they believe that plants have lives which are lost when you cut them up. This is the reason they avoid eating the root of any plant since taking away the root kills the plant. The monks of the Digambar sect follow the vow of Ahimsa, Satya, Asteya, Brahmachrya and Aparigraha so strictly that it is very difficult for the layman to follow these vows in the same way. Things to avoid During condolence meetings all the Jain community present at the condolence should avoid wearing clothes that disrespect the dead. Gentlemen should wear white kurtas and pyjamas or white shirts and trousers with white chappals or shoes. The ladies should wear white blouses and saris with normal jewelry. Too much makeup of any kind should be avoided. Simple makeup is allowed. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED: Sending fruits and nuts to show sympathy. Condolence message example “Good morning to all of you and on behalf of the family whose member is deceased, I thank you for coming here and providing the family with help and support in their hour of grief and need.”

Jewish Condolence Practices

Overview Two basic principles of Jewish belief are that the soul is eternal and that the dead shall be resurrected in a future Messianic age. The human body is a garment lent by the Creator to clothe the soul during its existence in this world. When the soul parts from the body, the body should receive the greatest respect and must be buried in a consecrated Jewish cemetery as soon as possible after death. Nevertheless, Jewish funerals are not held on the Seventh Day of the Week (from sunset on Friday to nightfall on Saturday night) or on the Day of Atonement. A belief in the sanctity of the human body means that Jews strongly oppose cremation. The murder of millions of Jews by Nazis during World War II and the burning of their bodies has only added to this long-standing opposition to cremating bodies. In a similar fashion, return of the human body to the Creator in its original form to the greatest extent possible lies behind Jewish opposition to autopsies. The funeral During a Jewish funeral men and woman stand in separate groups while prayers are recited for the elevation of the deceased soul, and certain psalms are read. Mourners, in this context including parents, children, siblings and spouse, make a tear in their upper garment to demonstrate their grief. The rabbi, family members and friends of the deceased deliver orations recalling good deeds and merits. After the body is lowered into the grave, men take turns shoveling earth into the grave. Afterwards it is customary to place small stones on the grave. The gravestone is not erected immediately, there being a widely accepted custom to wait until 12 months after the funeral. After the 12-month period, mourners (particularly in North Carolina) often participate in a ceremony known as a Stone Setting to mark the end of the year of mourning. A Stone Setting typically is not as formal as the funeral ceremony itself; rather than prescribed prayers, the Stone Setting often consists of stories or remembrances about the deceased from individual family members or friends, perhaps ending with a favorite piece of music. Thus, the Stone Setting honors the memories of the dead but at the same time encourages family and friends to bring to a close the formal mourning period. The headstone may actually be unveiled for the first time during the Stone Setting, but the name of this informal meeting for remembrance comes from the fact that Jews place stones, not flowers, on the headstone as a way to continue their connection with the deceased. WARNING: Don’t send flowers, which would be considered disrespectful. Food is the proper condolence gift. Mourning practices After the funeral mourners return to their homes. For the loss of a parent, sibling or child, Jewish custom mandates a 12-month mourning period. The first week of this period is called “shiva.” The mourner must not go on pleasure trips or even to work; rather, they must stay at home. They are not allowed to sit on regular chairs but must sit on low stools or on the floor. Prayers are organized in the mourner’s home three times a day. A quorum of ten men is arranged so that prayers for the elevation of the deceased’s soul can be said and the Scroll of the Law read. During this first week, relatives and friends visit the mourners each day to express their condolences. For the first week mourners may not shave, have haircuts or cut their nails. They typically may not bathe or wear fresh clothes, although these two restrictions may be slightly relaxed at the end of the first week of mourning; however, many of the mourning-related restrictions continue for a complete month from the time of the funeral. Someone who loses a parent continues in mourning for a full year. After the first month, the main restrictions are bans on going to weddings (although there are exceptions if one of the mourner’s children is getting married) and places of entertainment. Men also customarily go to synagogue mornings and evenings to say special prayers for elevation of the soul of their deceased family member. Offering condolences The most appropriate time to offer condolences is during the first week of the mourning period. If you are not a close relative, better go during the latter part of the week rather than the beginning. Since the mourner should not greet visitors, you should not expect the kind of welcome you would receive during normal times. It is also the custom that you should not greet the mourner; instead, you should sit down on a regular chair and wait for them to speak to you. After they open the conversation you are free to speak with them as you wish, taking care to avoid frivolous talk and behavior the best way of comforting them is simply to express your sadness at their loss and. if you knew the deceased, mention positive things they said or did. TIP: If you are not an immediate family member, consider offering condolences during the last part of the first week of mourning. When you are ready to leave the mourner’s house, do not expect them to accompany you to the door. If for some reason you are unable to visit the mourner personally but still wish to express your condolences, a telephone call or letter is perfectly acceptable. TIP: The traditional way of parting is to say, “May you be comforted among the other mourners for Zion and Jerusalem.” After saying this, you may leave the house without saying more.

Rastafari Condolence Practices

Overview The Rastafari movement encompasses a spiritual ideology that arose in the 1930’s in Jamaica. Even many Rastafari believe that the movement is more a way of life than a religion. (However, Rastafari frown on delineating that way of life as “Rastafarianism,” preferring not to be labelled as an “ism.” The Rastafari movement has taken unto itself certain Christian and Jewish beliefs, most notably that there is only one God. TIP: “Jah” – a shortened form of Jehovah or Yahweh most often used by the Rastafari in speaking of God and especially in speaking of Haile Selassie I, former emperor of Ethiopia, whom many Rastafari believe embodies God as the second coming of Jesus Christ. The Rastafari generally teach unity and love among all, with the Rasta philosophy being greatly opposed to violence and leaning more toward peaceful resistance when resistance is called for. Since the Rastafari do not meet in any particular place during the condolence period, they usually end up at the home of the deceased. Incense and oils play a prominent part in the condolence period. The Rastafari do not believe in death but do believe in life continuing after death. Although no set routine or special rite governs a Rastafari death, Rastafari do observe certain strict rules regarding a Rastafari deceased. For instance, the Rastafari faith forbids post mortem and transplant operations. Rastafari families should not donate organs of the dead for research or any other purpose. The Rastafari faith provide for no special mourning rituals. During the condolence period, however, family members and friends come together at the home of the deceased to share memories of and condolences for the deceased, typically in the context of partaking of healthy food and drink brought by friends and family members. TIP: The Rastafari faith forbids the ingestion of meat, salt, dairy products, eggs and milk by its members. Family and friends sharing a Rastafari condolence period take nine nights to celebrate the deceased with the idea that he suffers no longer. Rastafari further believe that the spirit of the deceased passes among the people during those nine days, which Rastafari share as a kind of party for the dead. Family members and friends tell stories and share memories of the deceased, the nine-day party before burial giving the living a chance to say their goodbyes to the dead. A Rastafari chaplain holds condolence meetings, and during the nine-day period the Rastafari smoke marijuana, which they believe offers a spiritual path to bring all participants together in peace. WARNING: Women should not wear trousers or make-up to a Rastafari condolence ceremony. The Rastafari do not attend funerals or take part in any further death-related practice after the traditional condolence period since they believe death is merely a chemical process that changes one form of life into another. Rastafari view “passing the pipe” (smoking cannabis) as an essential element of worshipping Jah. The Rastafari believe smoking cannabis creates unity among them as they call on the Almighty to come among the people. Music, which ranks among the most important rituals among the Rastafari, accompanies condolence practices and acts as a meditation. Reggae music, although certainly influenced by various musical genres including calypso and American blues and jazz, owes much of its history and characteristic sound to the Rastafari movement. Reggae originated in Jamaica in the 1960’s, being partly a combination of two musical genres known as “ska” and “rocksteady.” Over the years, however, the Rastafari movement has taken reggae unto itself, incorporating its instantly recognizable slow stutter of a beat into the Rastafari world. Reggae might even be called the “musical mass” of the Rastafari. Bob Marley, a Rastafari known chiefly for his Reggae music, has become a musical icon. The Rastafari may not imbibe alcohol during the condolence period. They must continue to grow their hair, which their religion forbids cutting and which they eventually twist into dreadlocks when it reaches a certain length. TIP: The Rastafari consider Marcus Garvey, Jamaican political leader, journalist and public speaker, to be a prophet. Garvey was a tireless advocate for the upward rise of African peoples across the globe, having been instrumental in the Back-to-Africa movement which sought to return those in the African diaspora to the lands of their ancestors.

Scientology Condolence Practices

Overview The religion of Scientology holds that a human being is actually an immortal force called Thetan (from the Greek for “life force”) that resides in the physical body. Thetan never dies and passes through innumerable lives from one physical body to another. These past lives of Thetan are not necessarily even beings here on earth as they may occur anywhere in the universe. Unlike some other religions, Scientology treats body and soul as totally separate entities and teaches that there have been thousands of past lives. Further, Scientology holds that the true nature of human beings is goodness; sin occurs, but only when Thetan loses touch with its true nature and with the Supreme Being, called God. Scientologists believe that Thetan can regain its original suppressed powers only by understanding its true relation with the Supreme Being and the universe as a whole, this being possible only when one is cleared of certain disturbing behavior patterns of day-to-day life. Beliefs about death To Scientologists, the human soul (or Thetan) never dies but simply moves from one life to another through reincarnation. Therefore, death does not exist. Scientologists’ beliefs do not mandate any specific ceremonies regarding reincarnation; thus funerals exist to celebrate the life of the deceased and to give solace to the survivors. Scientologists do believe that in its journey the soul, or Thetan, collects bad influences called engrams, and so “auditing” is necessary to enable Thetan to get rid of these engrams and regain its true potential through reincarnation. As Thetan gets rid of all engrams, then it will regain its full power and be able to interact with the world, universe and Supreme Being without any need of the physical body. Beliefs about disposal of the body For Scientologists, there is no death, simply a journey from one physical body to another. The process is automatic, not involving judgment of souls or intervention of rituals or prayers. For this reason, there are no defined funeral practices in Scientology. Any coming together is for the benefit of attendees with no relevance for the departed soul. For similar reasons, Scientology does not define any specific method for disposal of the human body. One may cremate or bury the body according to personal preference. There is no need of grave markers; once Thetan has moved forward, the physical body has no relevance. For this reason many Scientologists arrange for organ donation after death. There is also no time limit specified for the disposal of the body. This is purely as per the preferences of family members of the deceased. The funeral ceremony In Scientology, there are no defined funeral practices. However, if the family opts for a funeral ceremony, a church official will go to the house of the deceased, giving a farewell to the deceased and encouraging Thetan to move ahead and experience rebirth in a new body. The church official and others present praise the deeds of the deceased and talk about life accomplishments. They celebrate the times spent by the deceased with them in the past life. Sometimes an official or family member will read from the works of L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of the sect. Non-Scientologists may attend such funeral functions. If you attend such a gathering, be careful not to mention beliefs based on your own religious faith. Just talk about the works of the deceased, and give solace of the family by wishing the person a great life in reincarnation. If you are going to visit the home of a deceased Scientologist, show sympathy through flowers or cards. The family members are allowed to remember the dead person on some special occasions and may place flowers on his or her grave on such occasions, though it is not mandatory. Services for the family The services provided by the Church of Scientology are more for the family of the deceased. It is felt that the grief associated with loss of loved ones creates engrams that must be removed by counseling called auditing. By auditing, these engrams are released, thus lightening the souls of family members from engrams that may negatively affect their journey in the universe. Conclusion Consider carefully the above information regarding Scientology, and you will begin to understand that Scientologists focus less on physical existence of human beings and more on the soul and its relation with the universe and the Supreme Being. Since they believe in the immortality of Thetan (the human soul), for them there is no death, only the continuance of unending journey.

Seicho-no-le Condolence Practices

TIP: Seicho-no-le is a combination of Shintoism, Buddhism and Christianity. Overview Seicho-no-le is a Japanese philosophy which derives from various aspects of the combined religions of Shintoism, Buddhism and Christianity. This new line of thought was started in Japan by a Japanese gentleman named Dr. Masaharu Taniguchi who first published a magazine based on his thoughts and beliefs in 1930. By 1932 he had published works on the subject in more than forty volumes. Accompanied by his wife, he visited different countries in North America, Latin America and Europe to share his beliefs and thoughts. Seicho-no-le, which translates literally as “the house of growth,” deals with the importance of ancestors and family in the daily lives of all people. Seicho-no-le, like the three religions on which it is based, espouses belief in one supreme God. No other deities figure in this philosophy, which first spread over Japan and then through the entire world after the end of World War II. By 2010 Seicho-no-le had more than 1.6 million followers throughout the world. It also provides more than 1800 facilities for worship, meditation and learning more about the religion. Most of these facilities are in Japan itself, but others are present wherever Japanese immigrants live – in particular, Los Angeles, Mexico, San Paulo, Vancouver and Honolulu. Seicho-no-le teaches that God is present within each of us and guides us through our consciousness; thus, if we listen to God through our consciousness, we can achieve spiritual enlightenment. The religion emphasizes a life in tune with nature and instructs its followers to live a God-willed life of sincerity, unselfishness, truthfulness and freedom from care. If the follower does lead such a life, then that person should remain free from the common adversities of human life. Typical condolence practices According to Seicho-no-le, each human being is a child of God, and that God-given life does not die with the body. Further, the religion rests on beliefs in rebirth and a life beyond the life on this earth. A person’s body leaves behind his earthly body when that earthly body expires and continues on a journey through eternity in search of spiritual enlightenment. The soul improves with whatever he learns on this earth from the arts, literature, ethics and beliefs which had enriched the sojourn on earth and carries that learning to the Other World. Therefore, at a coming together of condolence for the passing of a Seicho-no-le follower, family and friends comfort each other with the thought that their loved one has truly not died but has only left behind his physical body in search of enlightenment. The assemblage prays together for the departed soul so that he or she may be able to fulfill the aim of reaching the highest level of Nirvana, which Seicho-no-le believes every human being wants to achieve. TIP: The Seicho-no-le religion believes in life beyond earthly life. Religious traditions in Japan versus Brazil Followers of Seicho-no-le in Brazil do not participate in the same ceremonies as their counterparts in Japan. They have devised ceremonies which are more appropriate to the traditions of the Brazilian people and their ancestors. Brazilian practitioners instead follow a combination of older, traditional Seicho-no-le, infused with decidedly Brazilian touches. That is, traditional Japanese Seicho-no-le tends to govern internal spirituality, being universal in nature and appropriate for most societies. Brazilian touches are much more evident in the external components of Seicho-no-le as practiced in Brazil, training and ceremonies tending to follow common Brazilian traditions. Amid familiar cries that traditions from the original culture (Japan, in this case) should not be adulterated with beliefs or behavior from the new culture (Brazil, in this case), Brazilian changes, particularly in external components of Seicho-no-le ceremonial rites, continue to weave with the old ways. Things to avoid When you sit down for meditation, you should understand that this religion concentrates on the good of all mankind and not the good of the individual only. Strive to retain concentration, remaining calm and composed as prayers are said for the invocation of God in the belief that all human beings are the children of one God only. Condolence message example During a condolence meeting the following prayer may be uttered before starting on the meditation: “Universal God of Seicho-no-le, please enlighten the departed soul who was so loved by us all, and let him be at one with Universal Spirit.”

Shamanism Condolence Practices

Overview Shamanism is a religious practice wherein the practitioner is called a “shaman” who helps a person to recover from an illness with the help of spirits. The shaman goes through a ritual in which she goes into a trance to communicate with the malevolent spirit affecting the person in order to purify and cleanse the soul of the person. The shaman offers condolences to the bereaved family members by communicating with benevolent spirits to bring peace to despairing souls. The shaman can be male or female, aged or younger. Typical condolence practices A typical practice of a shaman is to use autohypnosis to enter into a trance. The shamans might also use music while performing their rituals directed towards the spirit with whom the shaman is trying to communicate. The music is a series of sounds which helps the shaman go into a trance and bring the spirit closer. The beat of drums, gongs and rattle may accompany the chanting. The sound of bells may be used for cleaning the atmosphere before performing the ritual to summon the spirits or to send them away. The sound of a stringed musical instrument like a guitar may be used for healing. The shamans use different types of items while conducting the rituals: - Feathers of birds, which stand for various spirits, figure in the healing process. - Pipes for smoking herbs. - Swords and roosters to keep evil spirits away. Religious traditions Hmong people, originally from China and with a history spanning more than 5000 years, spread over the world after the Vietnam War. Many Hmong still practice a form of shamanism called “Ua Neeb” which they practiced in China since ancient times. Because inhabitants of parts of Europe, North and South America, and Australia believed in shamanism as a novel method to heal the soul, eventually many Hmong practitioners of shamanism received licenses to practice “Ua Neeb” in the United States. This religious practice is still prevalent among a large part of the Hmong culture in various countries. WARNING: Hmong may sacrifice an animal during a spiritual ritual. Hmong use animal sacrifice during their rituals. They have a belief that everything on earth has a soul, and these souls can be interchanged. When somebody feels physically ill, Hmong believe that the soul of the person has fallen ill. A solemn ritual is performed wherein an animal sacrifice is made. It is assumed that if the sick soul of the person is replaced by the soul of the animal, then the person will recover from his illness. After twelve months, a ritual will again be performed by the shaman to release the soul of the animal so that it may go and live in heaven or be born again as a higher species of animal. The concept of animal sacrifice is considered very important in some forms of shamanism as the animal which is sacrificed is performing a noble deed by giving up its soul to heal the soul of another living animal. Things to avoid A shaman puts a large number of restrictions on himself before performing a ritual to keep himself pure and acceptable to the spirit with whom he will communicate. A shaman will try to avoid foods which would cause him any hypertensive problems. He will abstain from drinking alcohol so that he can concentrate on the ritual. The shaman has to take care that the solemnity of the ritual is never disturbed by external sounds drowning out the ritual music. The shaman will ensure that there is no interference from a third person while performing his ritual. Condolence message examples Condolence messages should be brief, and they should provide support to the bereaved persons. Some examples of condolence message are given below: - “I am deeply saddened to hear the news of your father passing away. He was a wonderful person who was also close to me. Let me share your grief with you and let me help you find peace in this time of sadness.” - “The news of your bereavement has saddened me very much. Please allow me to be with you in this moment of sorrow. I would like to be with you to pay respects to the departed soul. I would like to pray for him with you so that his soul rests in eternal peace.”

Shinto Condolence Practices

Overview Shinto or “the way of the Kami” is the original religion of Japan. Before Buddhism, Shinto was not a formal religion and was just a local cult. Kami is a Japanese word that means sacred or divine beings. The prehistoric Japanese people believed that Kami were found in plants and animals, mountains and seas, storms and earthquakes, sand and all significant natural phenomena. They also developed different rituals and stories by creating their own spiritual and cultural world which gave them their historical roots. When Buddhism came in the 6th Century CE, Shinto adopted its faith and traditions. As time went on, the Japanese became more and more accustomed to both Kami and Buddhist ideas in their spiritual lives. Confucianism was also part of the changes that Shintoism underwent. Around the 16th and 17th centuries, Japan made it mandatory to convert the religion of its people into Buddhism and Shinto. The government of Japan declared Christianity to be a political threat, so they forced every Japanese person to register at a Buddhist temple (some Shinto shrines became or existed within Buddhist temples). There was a period where Shinto was reorganized, and this is called Meiji Restoration. Meiji is the emperor’s name at that time. The aim was to provide a sacred foundation and a religious rationale for Japan. Shinto was completely separated from Buddhism and became the official state religion of Japan. They made sure that the shrines have no trace of Buddhist materials or priests as well. Shinto made the Japanese people bonded together with influential combinations of commitment to Kami, ancestor-worship, and loyalty to their family and homeland. After World War II, Shinto was disestablished and the divine status of an emperor was no more. The post-war constitution of Japan separates religion from state. But even though Shinto lost its official status, it still remains a very significant part of Japanese spirituality and everyday life. TIP: Shinto funerals have 20 stages. Typical condolence practices In Shintoism, death is impure and conflicts with the purity of their memorials, which is why cemeteries are not built near Shinto shrines. Because of the previous statement, most Japanese people have their Shinto funerals or Sosai from Buddhist funeral rites. The funerals are usually conducted by lay people and not priests because the contact with death would be too polluting for them. Here are the twenty stages in a Shinto funeral: 1. Starting with the eldest relative, they will wet the lips of the deceased. 2. Family members have to wash or clean the body of the deceased. This process is done to make sure that nothing dirty comes out of it. They will also have to forcibly close the eyes and mouth. Lastly, they have to insert cotton into the nose, ears, and anus. 3. The death is announced through prayers to the spirits and family shrine. 4. In the so-called “pillow decoration,” the head of the deceased will be placed facing north. 5. The deceased will be placed in the coffin. 6. There will be daily offerings of food for the deceased twice a day. 7. The spirit of the deceased has returned and it will be announced to the local shrine. 8. The ground is purified with prayers and water. This is usually led by a priest. 9. Purification of the priest will be done by simply washing up. 10. The wake is the time when the priests offer prayers and mourners gather. 11. Offerings are presented. 12. Transferring the spirit of the deceased is done by the priest. It 13. will be transferred into a wooden tablet and this will be held 14. over the deceased while the rituals are being conducted. 15. The mourners will eat food that is cooked at another location (this is to 16. avoid the contamination of death to the food). 17. Funeral ceremony is held by the purification of the room, offerings, 18. and tributes from the priests. 19. Mourners will now say their farewells to the deceased. 20. Preparation for departure of the coffin is done by placing a sword on it. There will also be banners that are set around the coffin for the deceased to know that she will be leaving soon. 21. Funeral procession is transporting the casket to the cemetery or 22. crematorium. 23. After the coffin leaves, the priests and the deceased’s relatives will purify the house by setting up a new altar and removing the funeral altar. 24. There will be an assembly of the family and significant others of the deceased at the cemetery or crematorium and more offerings are placed with the coffin. 25. If the deceased is cremated, the bones are to be removed and placed in a vase. 26. If the deceased is cremated, the family will give their appreciation to the people who helped with the funeral and the ashes are to be placed in their family shrine. WARNING: Never bring a photograph of the deceased to a Shinto funeral. Religious traditions There are many subdivisions within Shintoism, but it can be classified into three major branches: Jinja, Kyoha and Minzoku. Minzoku or Folk Shinto is the traditional Shinto that was practiced by ordinary Japanese people at their local shrines. It was not established or recognized by Japan’s government. Jinja or the Shrine Shinto is the closest to Shinto’s traditional form. Kyoha or Sect Shinto started in the 19th Century and has its own major independent sects. Each Shinto subdivision practiced the twenty stages in a Shinto funeral. Things to avoid Here are the things that should be avoided in a Shinto funeral: • Photographs of the deceased – In hanging the image of the deceased, only use his painting and never a photograph. • Colorful clothing – Mourners must dress in solid black with the exception of white dress shirt or white layer under kimono (formal garment in Japan). • Entering the house without throwing salt – After the funeral, each person must throw salt behind himself, symbolizing the driving away of evil spirits. WARNING: Entering the house without throwing salt – After the funeral, each person must throw salt behind himself. It symbolizes the driving away of evil spirits. Condolence message examples “Although it’s difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, may looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.” It will be hard for the love ones of the deceased, but hopefully they will find ease as they recall the things that they shared with their loved one. Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.” People die. It’s natural. Do not be so hard on yourself when someone important to you dies. You have to realize that her love and affection are still with you. “When the heart grieves over what is has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left.” You may not fully understand or recognize the other side of death. It’s not all about grief and sadness; it is also about the beginning of something new and wonderful. “As you comprehend this profound loss, let yourself cry, knowing each tear is a note of love rising to the heavens.” If you want to cry, just let it all out. Don’t hold it in thinking that it’s a sign of weakness. It’s just a symbol that you really love and care about what you’ve lost.

Sikhism Condolence Practices

Overview Sikhism is a monotheist religion which originated in the Punjab province of undivided India in the 15th century through a religious teacher named Guru Nanak. He was the first of the ten Gurus, while Guru Gobind Singh was the last Guru whose teachings helped to spread this religion over Punjab and the world. The followers of this religion are called Sikhs or disciples. They follow the Holy Scripture called the Guru Granth Sahib which was written by six of the ten Gurus. They follow the ideals of a saint when they think of God combined with the ways of a soldier who takes up arms to bring justice to the downtrodden. According to Sikhism, every Sikh will live his normal life on earth as a member of a family. After being indoctrinated, every male Sikh gets the word “Singh” as his last name, meaning “Lion”; while every female follower gets the last name of “Kaur” which means “princess.” All baptized Sikhs must avoid cutting their hair or “Kesh,” wear an iron bracelet or “Kara” on their wrists, have a small sword or “Kirpan” around their waist, wear cotton underclothing called “Kachcha” and have a small wooden comb called “Kanga” in their hair. TIP: Every male Sikh gets the word “Singh” as his last name, meaning “Lion.” The followers of Sikhism believe in “Waheguru” or in one eternal God who sees everything and controls all events on this earth. There are a large number of followers of Sikhism spread all over the world. Sikhism renounces all kinds of pilgrimages, penances, idol worship, rituals, fasting or religious ceremonies. It also forbids people to live as monks, recluses, or beggars or to practice celibacy. The religion believes in living as part of a family and doing hard work for others which has prompted them to have “langars” or free kitchens which serve food to those who come to the places of worship and meditation. The religion stresses meditation. Typical condolence practices Condolence meetings for those who have passed away are held in prayer halls after the last rites of cremation are completed. The bereaved family members and other followers of the religion gather together to offer prayers to God for the salvation of the soul of the departed person and to ask God to forgive the person for any sins he may have committed on this earth. Worship is confined to saying prayers which are laid down in the “Guru Granth Sahib” or the religious scriptures which contain the “Gurbani.” The ancient custom of “Sati,” whereby the wife throws herself on the burning pyre of her husband to be immolated along with him, is totally forbidden. Religious traditions Most of the followers of Sikhism reside in the Indian state of Punjab, though there are also many who live in other countries. Customs and practices followed by followers of Sikhism are based mainly on meditation which is thought to be the only way of emancipating the soul from the various moral weaknesses in the world and of becoming true to God. The religion does not believe in the forcible conversion of any person from a different religion to Sikhism. Every morning and evening the follower should recite verses from the Holy Scriptures and should listen to the verses being recited as he combs his long hair with the wooden comb. The combing helps to remove all bad thoughts from the mind and cleanses the soul. Every Sikh is encouraged to meditate in the morning and evening to take him closer to God. When a child is born, he is named after the first letter which appears on the left-hand page of the “Guru Granth Sahib” opened at random during the baptism ceremony. The religion believes in equality and does not discriminate on the basis of caste, creed or color. Marriages are performed only for those who have become of age, and child marriage is forbidden. Divorce between husband and wife is forbidden until and unless something very special arises for the divorce to take place. After marriage husband and wife are considered to be the same soul residing in two bodies. Things to avoid There are some things in which a Sikh is forbidden to take part. A Sikh, male or female, may not cut off hair. They are not allowed to consume liquor, tobacco or drugs or eat the meat of animals which have not been killed by being beheaded with a sharp weapon at a single stroke. They are not allowed to perform rituals or the worship of idols or the grave; circumcision, fasting, penance, forcing women to wear veils and believing in other religions are forbidden. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED: Sending flowers.   Condolence message example The “Mool Mantra” is the basic and most important prayer which the gatherings of Sikh disciples recite on all occasions. This prayer is given below: “Ik onkar, satnam, karta purakh, nirbhau, Nir vair, aakaal murat, ajooni se bhang, Gur parsaad. Jap. Aad sach jugaad sach, Hai bhi sach naanak hosi bhi sach.” Simply put, this prayer speaks of the One Supreme Being, another name being Truth, the Creator Primal Being, without fear or enmity, timeless verity, unincarnated and self-existent, known through grace. The first subject of the prayer, “onkar,” is a variation of the mystic monosyllable “Om.”

Spiritism Condolence Practices

Overview Spiritism is not a religion but a way of life which is followed by all those who believe in this philosophy. The followers of Spiritism believe one may communicate with the spirits of the dead through living human beings who serve as the medium of this communication. The most fundamental belief on which Spiritism is based is that God is supreme, all powerful, good, eternal and unique. Spirits are real and not a result of your imagination. Their presence can be felt by using your senses of smell, touch and hearing. The philosophy of Spiritism is that that the soul leaves the physical body behind when someone dies and that the soul is then reincarnated as a different person. TIP: Spiritism is not a religion but a way of life. Experience and knowledge gained in earlier life helps to improve the soul, and successive reincarnations take it toward the ultimate perfection which it is trying to achieve. Spiritism teaches that the perfection achieved with each successive birth is progressively better than earlier ones and is never retrogressive. Thus, Spiritism does not teach that a soul might be reincarnated as an animal as that would be retrogressive. This progressive improvement of the soul after rebirth is the basis of differentiation between men and their level of goodness on this earth. There are both good and bad spirits which influence all human beings. The good spirits guide you through the travails faced in life so that you can emerge as a better person while the bad spirits try to bring you down and lead you to do evil things. The principle teachings of Spiritism are similar to teachings found in various other religions, for instance that you should wrong no one but do only good things for your neighbor. This particular teaching is universal to all forms and types of world religions. Typical condolence practices When a follower of the philosophy passes away, the other followers gather in the house of the deceased and offer prayers for the salvation of the soul of the departed. Offering prayers in Spiritism is the only religious aspect of this philosophy. Anything else you do is considered as an act of charity, such as comforting and helping out bereaved family members as they perform last rites for the departed soul. Religious traditions Spiritism asks its regular members to contribute whatever they can to help someone else. Contributions are a kind of membership fee, such as those solicited from members of all kinds of organizations. The places where followers or members gather to offer prayers are not marked by crosses, idols, icons or pictures. They are marked by an inconspicuous name plate of the founder. The buildings used for meetings have special architectural designs. Incense, alcoholic beverages, candles, amulets, altars, banners, tobacco or any other material as a support for prayers are not allowed in Spiritism. Rituals, promises, fortune telling, penance and other forms of worship which may be carried on in other religions are forbidden in Spiritism. People who want to participate in a prayer meeting are asked not to indulge in alcohol, tobacco, coffee or meat products before the meeting, although it is not mandatory that everyone follow these precepts., for there is no imposition of Spiritism teachings on its followers. Every member is asked to think about the teachings using his or her own reasoning power; then, if the teachings are acceptable, individuals are invited to enroll as members. It is believed that salvation can be achieved only by working for the good of others. Spiritism respects all religions which help people to face and overcome the hardships on earth. Spiritism teaches that every person has the capability of becoming a medium, but using your capability as a medium for material gain such as earning fame or money is forbidden. Spiritism strongly advocates against suicide, abortion and capital punishment. Prayers are considered by Spiritism as the only way to enlighten your soul, while charity toward less fortunate people is always considered a very important attribute for a follower. The followers of Spiritism are expected to increase their knowledge in scientific, historical, literary, philosophical and other fields of life learning. Things to avoid During condolence meetings followers are requested to abstain from: • Meat • Alcohol • Tobacco • Coffee before coming to the meeting Although not strictly followed by everyone, these practices are the norm. WARNING: Do not send or bring meat or alcohol to a condolence meeting. Condolence message example Prayers for those who have passed away are offered not only to God to give them salvation but also to help the departed soul to transition smoothly into the next world. They may take the following form: “Dear God Almighty, have mercy on the soul of the person you have just recalled from this earth. We implore you to take into consideration the trials he has gone through in life when he is measured for the trials he has yet to undergo in his spirit form.”

Taoism Condolence Practices

Overview Funeral rituals have always been viewed as an important part of Chinese social life. The importance of funeral rituals rests on certain basic beliefs held by the Chinese. First, death does not signify the end of a person’s participation in life but is a process of transition. The word Tao (or Dao) translates to "path" or "way," and this way of life is derived from the philosopher Lao Tzu, coexisting among the Three Jewels of Tao Ethics: compassion, moderation and humility. Taoism came into existence 25-220 AD and has withstood thousands of years of change, alongside modernization of societal practices in China and other countries with numerous followers of Taoism.. TIP: In Taoism, death does not signify the end of a person’s participation in life but is a process of transition. While Taoism advocates a simple, patient and peaceful mind while letting events in life run their natural course, it is also important for Taoists to be around nature as much as possible. Humility is essential as moral character is developed; Taoists must not boast about their achievements and good deeds. Typical condolence practices When a death occurs within a Taoist family, it is not uncommon to see the funeral practices involving the 3 major China beliefs—Taoism, Confucianism and Buddhism—being performed altogether. Taoist funeral rites can also be conducted according to the dialect groups of the Chinese, either Cantonese, Hokkien, Teochew, Hainan, or Hakka. Taoists do not fear the afterlife - death is not the end of the road, but is the continuation into another phase of the soul. It is with this reasoning that Taoists strongly adhere to extensive rituals as they allow the departed to be correctly guided onto the right path and into Paradise. If these rituals are inaccurately performed, it is believed that soul of the deceased will be lost in realms neither of the living nor the undead - left to wander in the unknown. In ancient times, the procession would normally be held for 7 to 10 days. The processions in recent times are 3 to 5 days maximum – due to the effects of the embalming wearing off after the fifth day. WARNING: Do not boast about achievements or good deeds during a Taoist funeral. Phases of the funeral procession Immediately after death The head (the oldest or the person financially supportive) of the family has to make the important decision of the location for the funeral, either in a Taoist funeral parlor or within the premises/courtyard of the deceased’s home. After a location is finalized, the family then informs friends and relatives of the passing and of the wake details. The deceased is then brought to the mortuary to be cleansed and embalmed. She will be dressed in her best clothes, decorated with makeup after the embalming and will be placed in the coffin. (The deceased may not have anything red on the body.) At the house of the deceased A red or white banner would be hung above the main door of the house, signifying a passing. Statues of gods and deities within the vicinity are covered with red paper – this is to block the deities’ view from the sight of death. Mirrors are removed, as superstition dictates that anyone who sees the coffin in a mirror would then have a death in his own family. The altar and the coffin Wreaths would surround the altar where a portrait photograph of the deceased is placed in front of the coffin. There will be an opening through glass encasement within the coffin, where one would be able to catch one final glimpse of the deceased. Joss sticks and candles are placed around the altar for family and guests to offer their prayers and respect. Instead of vegetarian food, as in Buddhist services, foods of all sorts (favorites of the deceased) are placed upon the altar as an offering. During the wake (Days 1 to 3-5) Family members do not wear gold or silver jewelry or red clothing. In more traditional times, blood relatives and family members would wail and sob during mourning to show respect and loyalty to the deceased; the louder the wailing, the more respect. However, the mourning process has increasingly toned down with modernization. The family would have to wear white shirts and black/dark blue pants. A piece of colored cloth would be pinned onto their sleeves to signify the relationship with the deceased. WARNING: Do not wear gold or silver jewelry or red clothing. Taoist priests would conduct scripture chanting, and the family, lined up according to order of hierarchy and age, would follow suit with more chanting. The chanting allows the path of the souls to be smoothed out, removing obstacles and torture for the sins they might have committed in their lives. Friends and guests visiting to the funeral are required to light incense or a joss stick at the altar as a sign of respect to the deceased and family. Joss sticks and incense money are to be burned continuously throughout the wake as it helps provide the deceased with sufficient money to spend. And also, if the family is well-to-do, you will see big houses or cars made out of paper in which they will be burning an offering to their deceased one, so as to ensure his wellbeing in the afterlife. TIP: Friends and guests visiting the funeral are required to light incense or a joss stick at the altar as a sign of respect to the deceased and family. A bereavement donation box is placed on the premises; donations are appreciated as a sign of respect to the parties and help defray funeral costs. The nights of the funeral would be spent in vigil, protecting the deceased’s body, with family members staying awake throughout the nights. You will see people gambling, as this helps to keep guests and attendees in a lighter mood and awake. Guests normally attend the first few days of the wake. After initial paying of respects, guests gather around the tables filled with tidbits and drinks. Guests may proceed to give their bereavement donations (Baijin – White Gold) to the family members. They should also give words of encouragement and blessings to the family of the deceased during this period of visitation. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED: Providing a donation to the bereavement donation box. Last day of the wake The lid of the viewing panel on the coffin will be closed and sealed shut. On the last day of the wake, the deceased will have a final send-off. This is called the “Last Journey.” The corpse will either be sent to the columbarium for cremation or be buried in designated burial grounds. Performed with Taoists monks’ chants and instructions, the ritual dictates that the hearse bring the coffin to the final grounds, where family, relatives and friends see the deceased to her last path towards Paradise. After this, everyone attending is sprinkled with flower water so as to cleanse themselves after the send-off. DO’s and DON’Ts as an attendee DO’s Joss sticks might be offered to you (if not, get them on the altar beside the candles); light them up and pay your final respects or words in silence while holding the joss sticks with 2 hands in front of the altar. If you do not wish to do this because of a religious conflict, you may simply maintain silence. Bereavement donations must be in cash and enclosed in white envelopes presented to the family of the deceased. Take a piece of red string from the tidbit tray on the guest tables, and tie it on your finger or hold it until you have left the premises. Dispose of it before entering your residence. This symbolizes a final farewell and ties that you have with the deceased. Do give kind words of condolences to whoever is affected. A simple condolence (I am sorry for your loss) is sufficient as it can transcend culture barriers. No need for fancy words. Be natural. Taoism encourages the natural occurrence of things. DON’Ts Do not wear red or any attention-grabbing colored apparel. Stick to sober tones. Keep your volume to a minimum, and control any temper so as to not disturb the dead. Do not laugh at or make light of the ceremonial proceedings, no matter how illogical they may seem. Do not ask openly about the cause of death. If you do not remember the guide given, you may check with the family of the deceased as they would have been well advised on the ceremonial procedures and superstitions and will be more than willing to fill you in with the necessary details. If all else fails, just be extra courteous and observe the other guests – the family of the deceased will be more than grateful to you for your attendance.

Tenrikyo Condolence Practices

Overview Tenrikyo is a new age religion which was introduced in Japan by a Japanese lady named Nakayama Miki in the 19th century. Her husband had been suffering from different ailments for a long time, and she had called in a Buddhist monk to exorcise her husband’s spirit to get rid of the ailments. While helping in this process, she had a revelation that asked her soul to be given up as the shrine of God or Tenri-O-no-Mikoto, so that she could spread God’s divine will through her teachings. Nakayama Miki went on spreading the religion among the people of Japan until she died at the age of ninety. Her principal follower Izo Iburi and other leaders helped her to spread her teachings of “Joyous Life” which can be achieved through charitable work and by performing a daily ritual called “Hinokishin” to clean the mind of all negative feelings. Izo Iburi also helped Nakayama Miki to produce her teachings in a written form. There are almost 2 million followers of this religion and almost 20,000 churches in Japan alone. This religion has spread to other countries also where there are Japanese people who have migrated from Japan and settled. In this religion the eight negative feelings of greed, anger, hatred, arrogance, miserliness, self-love, covetousness and bearing grudges against others are compared to dust which can be swept away by doing work for the good of others without asking for something in return. Charitable work consists of doing community work such as cleaning public bathrooms and parks. Simultaneously, it is also required that the followers show their gratitude to God for allowing them to use the body lent to them by God who is the parent of the whole world. Typical condolence practices Whenever somebody passes away the followers of this religion gather in the home of the person who has passed away to show their respect and offer prayers for the departed soul. Prayers are offered also in the churches where condolence meetings are held for the bereaved families. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED: If it is feasible, pay a visit to the home of the person who has passed away to show respect for the departed soul. Religious traditions The followers of this religion believe that they are the owners of the soul but the owner of the body is God, who has lent them the body for one lifetime. To show their gratitude to God for lending their bodies to them the followers perform the “Hinokishin” ritual daily. This can be any work that helps others to achieve “Joyous Life” or to help the community as a whole. A service is performed in the morning and the evening each day depending on the time set by the rising and the setting sun. The time is determined by the church but may vary from one place to another. The churches determine the timing of the daily service depending on the seasons also. In this ritual a hand dance is performed while sitting on the floor or while standing. The songs and the dances followed in these daily rituals were created by Nakayama Miki. Music is an essential part of this ritual and wooden clappers, small gongs, cymbals and large drums are used to accompany the hand dance ritual. Sometimes shoulder drums, flutes and other musical instruments are also used. A counter is also used to count whether the ritual has been performed 21 times or not. The principal minister of the church or mission usually plays the wooden clappers and only when he is absent may someone else do the honors. This ritual can be performed in places other than the church. Only the follower has to face the direction where the “Jiba” or the “Home of the Parent” is located. It is believed that the daily ritual sweeps away the dust of the eight negative feelings from the follower’s mind. Other than the services carried out daily, monthly services also are held in churches. In the monthly service the sacred songs are sung by a singer accompanied by music and dances. There are three male and three female dancers who wear traditional costumes when carrying out the dances. The monthly services are carried out on the third Sunday or any other Sunday of the month depending on whether the church has more than 100 followers or not. A person suffering from illnesses can receive the Divine Grant to regain his health. To get this Divine Grant, he is taught the teachings of the Tenrikyo and has to be aware of the mental dusts which must be removed from his mind before he can receive the Divine Grant. Both the administrator and the receiver of the Divine Grant must be pure in mind and very sincere in their efforts to achieve salvation for the ill person by receiving the blessings from God. Things to avoid Followers must avoid being pessimistic about anything. They should avoid feeling depressed by any event in life and are asked to remove their prejudices in order to overcome difficult situations in life. Condolence message example “Dear God, we thank you for lending the physical body to him in this world and we request you borrow another body to his soul as he has tried very sincerely to remove all the eight dusts from his mind during his last life on earth.”

Unitarian Universalism Condolence Practices

Overview Unitarian Universalists don't all believe the same thing about the nature of God. This alternately confuses, amuses or appalls people. Practitioners of most religions have thought long and hard about the nature of God, and they have their own beliefs about it. Unitarian Universalists do have common beliefs, but they have to do with their actions. They promote: -The inherent worth and dignity of every person; -Justice, equality and compassion in human relations; -Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in their congregations; -A free and responsible search for truth and meaning; -The right to conscience and the use of the democratic process within their congregations and in society at large; -The goal of world community with peace, liberty and justice for all; and -Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part. That means people of all shapes, sizes, colors, ages, and incomes; straight, gay or lesbian, black or white, or somewhere in between are accepted. The gay or lesbian part sometimes upsets more conservative people, but Unitarian Universalists don't mind it. They question some parts of the Bible (though they respect religious writings), and they believe in evolution. A different between Unitarian Universalists and many other religions is that Unitarian Universalists don't force their beliefs on anyone else. As long as you're unbiased, open-minded and receptive, you're welcome to join their religious community. TIP: Unitarian Universalists don't all believe the same thing about the nature of God. Religious traditions Traditions of various Universalist Unitarianism groups tend to overlap, because there is a variety of old and new traditions. However, one notable tradition practiced by all Unitarian Universalists is the Flower Communion. It was first introduced in the early 1940's, and it has since become a tradition favored in many congregations. The members are asked to bring a flower to their Sunday service in spring, right before Easter time. Each person then places that flower in a shared vase or on the altar. The flowers are then blessed by the minister, accompanied by a sermon describing the flowers' symbolism. After the ceremony, all of the members bring home a different flower than the one they brought to the ceremony. TIP: You may be asked to sing songs during the funeral. Typical condolence practices It doesn't matter if the deceased’s body is present or not - a memorial service will occur. It is usually done one week after the death or more; the memorial service usually takes place in a funeral home chapel or a church and lasts from 30 minutes to an hour. Take note that it might go longer, depending on the deceased family's requests. The church minister usually gives a sermon and or meditation, and there is a eulogy from a family member or an important person. While the mourners sing a song from the Living Traditional hymnal of the Unitarian Universalists, a pianist or an organist accompanies them by playing a warm, heart-tugging melody. There is a visitation held before the service, but sometimes Unitarian Universalist funerals are not open to anyone; which often means an open casket environment. Green burials are an option for the deceased’s family too. It is the same for embalming and cremation, which are both acceptable practices in this religion. After the burial, the deceased’s family hosts a post-service reception for the visitors. The mourning period is normal; usually the grief-stricken family and the bereaved visitors don't work for a few days out of respect for the deceased. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED: Sending a meal to the family of the deceased. The best way to express your condolence You can prepare food for the family and express your condolence with flowers. But the best way to express your condolence is to visit the memorial service of the deceased. Before the service, it is fitting for a visitor to sign the guestbook. Before you take a seat, keep in mind that the first two to three rows are reserved for the deceased’s family and close relatives. Usually there is a service program handed out to you which explains the flow of the burial service. The taking of pictures and videos is not allowed. You may choose to pray and sing along throughout the service, but it depends on your religious beliefs. If you're not comfortable, that’s okay. Remember, for Unitarian Universalists, everyone is equal no matter what race or gender. As long as you respect their religion, you'll be welcome.

Wiccan Condolence Practices

Overview For Wiccans death is not an end but a beginning. So your traditional funeral will not be given for a witch. It is believed that when a witch or Wiccan dies they leave this world behind and travel to the Summerland to await their rebirth. Death is a peaceful time for a Wiccan or witch, but it is also understood that they leave behind friends and loved ones who want to see them off to the other side in the proper fashion. TIP: Wiccans might not organize a funeral for the deceased. For some a funeral will not be conducted at all, since Wiccans believe in Samhain, which is on October 31, or November 2, The day of the dead is the time to remember and honor your dead loved ones. Others do request a traditional ceremony that is attended by their coven, family members, and very close friends, and is performed by the head priestess. If you have decided on going to a traditional ceremony, below is a guide as to how it is typically done, to ensure that the sending of your loved one is done with tradition and honor. Typical condolence practices Most Wiccans want to be buried in a natural way since most believe that their bodies feed the earth and they want their spirits to be free to cross over and not be trapped in a coffin. Cremation can be an option and their ashes buried or scattered to the elements. Before cremation have them wrapped in natural cloth so that the earth is not tainted by non-natural elements. The ritual can be held indoors or out, although since Wiccan beliefs are closely allied to nature, the outdoors is preferable. Here is an example of a traditional public ceremony which can be changed to fit your exact beliefs, but this is a good guideline to follow. The ritual space will be cleared so that it is completely open. Then the four elements will be represented by placing items in their respective places, such as a cup of water for the west for the water element, a candle in the south for fire, a feather in the east for air, and a rock in the north for earth. An altar will be set in the middle with 3 candles on it and the urn. The candles should be these 3 colors in this order from left to right when you are facing them: black for transition, white for spirit transcending, and red for rebirth. The other things that can also be placed on the altar are frankincense and myrrh incense, lilies, stones of the earth, salt and a chalice for water. The priestess will then sweep and cast the circle clockwise as the mourners wait on the outside of the forming circle; when she is done the priestess will take the hand of every person and lead them into the cleansed circle one by one until everyone is inside. Then she will close the doorway that was left open for the mourners to come through. The priestess will then call the elements into the circle, again clockwise. For the East: All that falls, rises again, so our friend shall be reborn. The treasure of life is the air we breathe, that we are ever grateful for. Bless this circle. For the South: As our life is but a day, our friend has passed into the night. Our strength, memories, courage, and fires of our lives are given to us by our friend. Bless this circle. For the West: As the sun sets, so our friend has now left us. Our tears are like the waters of the ocean, and water is the life in our mother's womb. Bless this circle. For the North: As the earth has formed us, we now must return our friend back to that earth. We honor our mother for the life she has given us, and now in the end she takes our friend back into her womb. Bless this circle. Once the priestess has blessed the circle, she will then call down the moon and sun to bless the dead, and allow the deceased to cross to the Summerland. This is an example of what might be said. You are the Moon, The Goddess, The All Mother, you give life from your own body, and you take it back for rebirth. You are an eternal creation, a world without end, a never-ending cycle. You are The Sun, The God, you are born from our mother’s womb, you live and you die, only to be reborn again. You are The All Father, The Destroyer, and the ruler of the land of the dead. Bless our friend and see her safely to the Summerland, to await rebirth from our mother’s womb. May she be reborn again at the same time as the ones she loved now, so that she will know and love them again. At this time the 3 candles will be lit to send the dead to the Summerland, or the other side, with words like this: We say goodnight and goodbye to our dear friend, as he passes to the Summerland, with the knowledge he will be missed and forever remembered in our thoughts and hearts. Blessed be our friend; may your crossing be peaceful and swift. After the ceremony has ended the circle will then be dismissed counter clockwise, but the candles will stay lit until everyone has left. TiIP: All Wiccan sects believe in the Summerland. Religious traditions by subdivision and sects Every sect believes something a little different; they are like different religions that basically still believe in the overall same thing, almost like Christians with different denominations. Wiccan rituals are usually passed down throughout the high priestesses through their Book of Shadows. But one thing stays the same, all the sects believe in Summerland, in one form or another, and most believe in reincarnation. They all believe the body is just a temporary vessel that they leave when they die; and it is then returned to the earth, and they are then reborn in a different body in another time and place. They are also all nature-based. So the wording of the ceremonies might be a little different depending on what sect you are in; the goddess and the elements will stay the same, along with sending the spirit to the other side. The priestess is the one that always performs the ceremony, although sometimes it is performed with a high priest of the coven, or even both. So talk to the priestess to find out exactly how the sect of your loved one does the ceremony, and if that priestess would be the right one to perform it; or if you need a priestess from a different sect since you and your loved one were not in the same one. Things to avoid You should never interrupt the priestess when she is doing the rituals. At most ceremonies of this type, the priestess will give the mourners a chance to say something and say goodbye. If you are of a different sect or have different beliefs, you should be respectful and not express your beliefs or views, this is, after all, for the person who passed and their beliefs. Try to be helpful when asked, also make sure you do not accidentally do something forbidden like break the circle once it has been formed, as this could disrupt the entire ceremony. There are usually certain things everyone is expected to do at one of these ceremonies, so make sure that you ask someone before the ceremony starts if you do not know what is required of you. Do not disrespect nature. In other words, if you make a mess, clean it up and leave natural beauty as you found it. WARNING: If you participate in a ceremony, do not break the circle once it has been formed; this could disrupt the entire ceremony. Condolence message examples Here are a few examples of condolences that you may give to the family and friends of the deceased that will bring comfort: Those we love are never gone, They have just temporarily moved on. Those we have loved or lost have not gone away, They continue to watch over us every day, They are unheard and unseen, But they are always near, Walking beside us and always very dear. It may be hard today to see past your sorrows, But the goddess is always there, To comfort you through all your tomorrows.

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